“Bat Sabbath”—Noir Slam!

Noir Slam Sarah Chen

(Photo by Sarah M. Chen)

Noir Slam was a fantastic event at The Last Bookstore. Lots of great readers. Awesome crowd. Well done, Eric Beetner and Maxine Nunes! Thanks MWA SoCal!

Here’s the story that I read at Noir Slam last night:

BAT SABBATH

Remember when Ozzy Osbourne bit the head off that bat? I was there that night, thirteen years old and in the front row. Best night of my life. Bat blood was still dripping from Ozzy’s yellow teeth when he tossed the twitching carcass right at me.

The band kicked into “Crazy Train” as I clutched at the leathery wings. That’s when some Ron Jeremy look-alike sucker-punched me from behind and snatched it. Everything went black.

I woke up when the arena lights came on. The seats around me were empty and my head was spinning from the Quaaludes and weed. I spotted my attacker near the t-shirt booth and pounced—like a bat-crazed cheetah chasing down a baby zebra. His arms flailed as I launched onto his back and clawed at his eyes.

My hands were covered in blood when the security guards finally pulled me off. That’s when I noticed that my victim looked more like Joan Jett than Ron Jeremy.

Feathered hair can be tricky like that.

I did three years in Juvie for attacking an innocent woman. But that’s where I learned how to play guitar. You should come see my Ozzy Osbourne cover band sometime. We’re called Bat Sabbath.

S.W. Lauden’s short fiction has been accepted for publication by Out of the Gutter, Criminal Element, Dark Corners, Dead Guns Magazine, Akashic Books, WeirdBook, Spelk Fiction, Shotgun Honey and Crimespree Magazine. His debut novel, BAD CITIZEN CORPORATION, will be published by Rare Bird Books in October 2015. His novella, CROSSWISE, will be published by Down & Out Books in 2016.

Less Is More

Noir SlamTomorrow night I join 18 fellow writers at The Last Bookstore in downtown Los Angeles for Noir Slam— “a fierce, fast-paced trip to the edge of modern noir.” Just look at that list of readers! We each get one minute—60 precious seconds—to tell a complete story. It’s an interesting challenge.

I tried looking through my novel and my novella for 150 words that would work, but everything seemed like it would take a minute or more just to set up. So, I decided to write something specifically for the event. As with most things in life that are challenging, I turned to Ozzy Osbourne for inspiration.

See you tomorrow night in downtown LA!

S.W. Lauden’s short fiction has been accepted for publication by Out of the Gutter, Criminal Element, Dark Corners, Dead Guns Magazine, Akashic Books, WeirdBook, Spelk Fiction, Shotgun Honey and Crimespree Magazine. His debut novel, BAD CITIZEN CORPORATION, will be published by Rare Bird Books in October 2015. His novella, CROSSWISE, will be published by Down & Out Books in 2016.

Noir Slam—Weds., Sept. 2—Downtown LA

Noir SlamI am very excited to be part of NOIR SLAM, 20 mystery/crime authors taking you on a fierce, fast-paced trip to the edge of modern noir—60 seconds at a time. The event takes place starting at 7pm Wednesday, Sept. 2 in downtown Los Angeles at The Last Bookstore. I was there for an Erika Krouse reading just last night and the place is amazing.

Just imagine how cool all of your friends will think you are when you click this Facebook link and tell them you’re “going” to Noir Slam!

Not convinced? Well, here’s a list of the amazing authors included on the bill: Christa Faust, Brett Battles, Anonymous-9, Danny Gardner, James Queally, Maxine Nunes, Eric Beetner, Samuel Gailey, Craig Faustus Buck, Stephen Blackmoore, Ashley Erwin, John Shepphird, Aaron Philip Clark, Travis Richardson, Paul D. Marks, Josh Stallings, Hannah Sward, and your’s truly.

If you aren’t familiar with some of these scribblers, I have been lucky enough to interview several of them on this blog over the last year. Here are a few of my favorite quotes, along with links to the original interviews. Of course, there is no better way to get to know an author than by reading one of their books…just saying.


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Read the Josh Stallings interview HERE.

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Read the Anonymous-9 interview HERE.

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Read the Eric Beetner interview HERE.

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Read the Travis Richardson interview HERE.

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Read the Paul D. Marks interview HERE.

S.W. Lauden’s short fiction has been accepted for publication by Out of the Gutter, Criminal Element, Dark Corners, Dead Guns Magazine, Akashic Books, WeirdBook, Spelk Fiction, Shotgun Honey and Crimespree Magazine. His debut novel, BAD CITIZEN CORPORATION, will be published in October 2015. His novella, CROSSWISE, will be published by Down & Out Books in 2016.